not just a bitch & moan

hmmm so here i am back at home.
after almost a week of holidaying.
it's a thursday evening.
i've had a pretty good week so far.
i just hate being back at home.
it's just....
argh.
i HATE it.
not because of my family or whatever
just because it means im gona sit here on my ass and do NOTHING.
doing nothing just makes me feel like i'm wasting time.
instead of writing this blog i could be at ryan's house with symons and mitch and toni and nat or whatever.
and im stuck here in this hellhole.
i'm alone
supposedly in my comfort zone
but i am so NOT comfortable here.
i don't want to relax
i want to do things
be out somewhere!!!
doing ANYTHING but this!

but yeah,
i don't want this to end up all bitching and moaning.
last night i stayed at asha's house with bec and her.
we haven't had a sleepover in about 6 months.
shit, right?
it went really well :) in fact i had the best time ever.
we talked to easily
about everything
i'm glad i can be there for them again.

we watched a movie
called "If Only". starring Jennifer-Love Hewitt who may i say is one sexy chickadee.
she has an actual ass.
moving on, it was a really upsetting movie for me
like, it was really good and all
but basically these two people are in love
and he doesn't show her how much he appreciates her
and she gets killed...
it just made me think
how at one stage in my life i shut everyone out like i didn't need them and i never thought that they might actually need me
can you imagine treating the ones you love like they're invisible
and then one day they just die, and you never see them again?
the thought stabbed me right through the heart.
it scares me that i don't express how i really feel to people
what if people never know how i feel about them?
just because im too afraid to tell them?
ahh.

well that's enough thought from me.
enough to bore your brains out
send them around the world and have them come back to be bored again.

catch,
boo.
<3