life in a box

mmm. packing.

yes that's right.
i'm packing to move into our new house, a la Mt. Eliza.
this is what i see right now...

i'm sitting on my bed an a pile of empty cd covers to my left.
a stack of music and photo cds to my right.
without covers.
a full bin in front of my feet, next to that there is a cd rack with more cds stacked in it and on it, in covers. clothes and pillows in the floor.
cupboard open with things hanging out;
posters, shoeboxes, clothes, softtoys. school bag open.
and my v bottles arranged in a lovely .. love heart shape. on the floor.
and here i am at the back of my room, staring out at my mess.
proud :)

mmm. so there's ultravox playing in the background.
it's a tape. we found tapes :)
and ive got jimmy barnes playing in my laptop.
hahaha funny.
its kinda strange.

i had the weirdest moment before.
you know when your whole life flashes before your eyes just before you die?
yeah well that happened to me, just not before dying lol.
i put in a cd labeled "videos "
and all these clips starting playing nonstop, one after the other.
me and bec singing, me and amber on the couch, my cousins messing around, rolling down a hill in year 8, jimmy on a tree at a swimming carni, asha's party, trying to skid.......

it was crazy.
i was in shock.
seriously i was.

mmm. chyeah well id better get back to packing.
school tomorrow.
this is gonna suck.
i'll hardly see David, i'll have to do homework and spend 99% of my time in school uniform.

if i wasn't taoist i'd be praying to god that this term will go quickly.

'til next time,
boo.

a first problem

i have a problem
i haven't had a problem in about...
a month.
(excluding all the times ive said "i hate the world and the people in it", but that's not really personal.)
this problem is.
and because this is the internet,
you do NOT get the delightful pleasure of hearing me express what this problem actually is.
instead you get to see through my eyes for a bit.
it's not the worst i've written
infact i feel much better than this actually sounds.
that's poetry politics for you.

the feeling is strange
content with life
happyness becomes usual
but i take a nosedive
for once its not image
not looks of my own
its weird to feel something
that i don't really know
familiar with the darkness
caused by something unknown
will bring me back down
to a different kind of low
see through my eyes
a world unkind
stereotypical and stupid
blurring the mind
i'm lost in confusion
am i doing this right
why can't i be like others
withstanding the fight
what i want most
i'm lacking the need
though it feel it in my head
its not there bodily
tensing my jaw
and clenching my fists
i want to hit life's balls
and cut it's wrists
a first problem for me
new persona and all
as ive risen above
now i'll carefully fall.

love,
boo.

exciting food adventures

so i was just sitting here with one of those.... um..

snap and share or something mini m&m's boxes.

and i didn't really feel like them.

and then this thing popped into my head

"my mother makes me mash my mini m&m's on a monday morning ooooh aahhh"

lol. good vocal warm-up. but yeah

then i was like... hmm, why not?

and here's what i ended up with :)

yay. go me and my mashed mini m&m's. LOL.

oh and i was eating starbursts the other day,... kind of a weird thing to notice but i thought it looked pretty funny :P

yeah so that's just something random from me today.

an m&m mash and a starburst penis :)

lots of love,

boo.

not just a bitch & moan

hmmm so here i am back at home.
after almost a week of holidaying.
it's a thursday evening.
i've had a pretty good week so far.
i just hate being back at home.
it's just....
argh.
i HATE it.
not because of my family or whatever
just because it means im gona sit here on my ass and do NOTHING.
doing nothing just makes me feel like i'm wasting time.
instead of writing this blog i could be at ryan's house with symons and mitch and toni and nat or whatever.
and im stuck here in this hellhole.
i'm alone
supposedly in my comfort zone
but i am so NOT comfortable here.
i don't want to relax
i want to do things
be out somewhere!!!
doing ANYTHING but this!

but yeah,
i don't want this to end up all bitching and moaning.
last night i stayed at asha's house with bec and her.
we haven't had a sleepover in about 6 months.
shit, right?
it went really well :) in fact i had the best time ever.
we talked to easily
about everything
i'm glad i can be there for them again.

we watched a movie
called "If Only". starring Jennifer-Love Hewitt who may i say is one sexy chickadee.
she has an actual ass.
moving on, it was a really upsetting movie for me
like, it was really good and all
but basically these two people are in love
and he doesn't show her how much he appreciates her
and she gets killed...
it just made me think
how at one stage in my life i shut everyone out like i didn't need them and i never thought that they might actually need me
can you imagine treating the ones you love like they're invisible
and then one day they just die, and you never see them again?
the thought stabbed me right through the heart.
it scares me that i don't express how i really feel to people
what if people never know how i feel about them?
just because im too afraid to tell them?
ahh.

well that's enough thought from me.
enough to bore your brains out
send them around the world and have them come back to be bored again.

catch,
boo.
<3

another beginning

so i've decided to start a blog.
LOL.
yay.
i saw it on tom's myspace (http://www.alternativetoanything.tk/)
he's a funny one :)
a very interesting read if you ask me.

i used to write in a blog, a loooong long time ago.
msnspaces. good times (Y)
if your interested in reading that,
go to http://kittykatie.spaces.live.com/
wow.
it's strange reading my old blogs.
i was a fucking stupid naive little girl.
god i could kick my younger self for speaking in tweeny-language.
"lyk OMGZZZ ii'm soo kewl!!!"
stupid teeny fucks.

:)
baaha.
i find it funny that the last blog i posted on there was about how i've switched to myspace.
xD
myspace is go goddamn addictive.
but honestly i'd rather be out somewhere than sitting here on my computer.

aaaand i think that's my cue to leave!
hope to catch you later.
love,
boo.
<3