a while ago me and my friends came up with a 'valedictory diet', in which no bad food could be eaten in order to get skinny for valedictory.
stupid idea of course.
but my valedictory is in 17 days, and ive begun to restrict back to 1000 calories a day.
i didn't think i could ever restrict again, it was like my body was adjusted to normality.
but, no. i was wrong.
with the stress of my Teta going and the pressure of practice exams i've begun an obsessive journey to weight loss.
it keeps my anxiety at bay, and takes my attention away from things that are bothering me.
i know i shouldnt be doing this but its what i need right now.
and i currently feel disgusted by my body.
and i have a tight fitting, sexy black dress to fit into properly without fat hanging everywhere!
eep.
Showing posts with label clothes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clothes. Show all posts
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
(not quite) holidays
it's saturday, and i just finished another hectic term of year 12.
although it's the 'holidays', it's pretty much a study break.. and the second week is full of practise exams at school... can't wait til this is over!
on the bright side, i found a good pair of jeans!
i HATE jeans, mostly because of the Bardot stereotypical so-low-you-can-see-my-butt-crack and so-tiny-my-hips-look-like-extra-boobs jeans. i've been living in leggings, as they accomodate my body shape much better.
but i have no reason to be afraid of jeans anymore, because i got some GRAB jeans.. they are high rise, so NO butt cracks, and they fit perfectly around my stomach! no more jeans that expect my hips to be the same size as my waist!
i had the hugest smile on my face when i bought them :) yay.
teehee.
i have a party on sunday night, and im wearing a little black dress.
the last time i wore a dress was at my friend's 18th (or before it) and my mum told me it looked too small.. i burst into tears and wore jeans and a hoodie for the night.
so yeah, challenge for me is to wear this dress.
sometimes i think that im more comfortable naked than i am with clothes on!
clothes, as much as i love them, are rediculous.
i'll leave it at that.
although it's the 'holidays', it's pretty much a study break.. and the second week is full of practise exams at school... can't wait til this is over!
on the bright side, i found a good pair of jeans!
i HATE jeans, mostly because of the Bardot stereotypical so-low-you-can-see-my-butt-crack and so-tiny-my-hips-look-like-extra-boobs jeans. i've been living in leggings, as they accomodate my body shape much better.
but i have no reason to be afraid of jeans anymore, because i got some GRAB jeans.. they are high rise, so NO butt cracks, and they fit perfectly around my stomach! no more jeans that expect my hips to be the same size as my waist!
i had the hugest smile on my face when i bought them :) yay.
teehee.
i have a party on sunday night, and im wearing a little black dress.
the last time i wore a dress was at my friend's 18th (or before it) and my mum told me it looked too small.. i burst into tears and wore jeans and a hoodie for the night.
so yeah, challenge for me is to wear this dress.
sometimes i think that im more comfortable naked than i am with clothes on!
clothes, as much as i love them, are rediculous.
i'll leave it at that.
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