sick

moved to www.methroughtheglass.wordpress.com 

wow.
i only just realised how shit i feel right now.
every time i come to that realisation, it seems to be even worse.
ive hit rock bottom so many times, im wondering how deep this hole can get.

i tried to cut the other night.
i threw up intentionally because i felt bad for this guy ive been screwing around.
i went to buy razors. thankfully, there were none at safeway.

ive been taking diet pills, even though ive hardly been eating.
im happy with the way the weight is dropping off.
i try to avoid food.
i know EXACTLY what im doing to myself, and i cant stop.

i'm fucked. i fucking need to see my psych right now, see if she thinks i can up my dose of Lovan.
i cant take life right now.

i feel sick.