Tuesday, February 2, 2010

?

i'm at a bigger dead end than i was last time i took a break from blogging.

i've been drunk for the past 2 days.

i'm fucked.
fuck.

i'm lost.

and i'm really, really scared.

5 comments:

Lou Lou said...

I urge you to ask for help, from a crisis team of some sort, sometimes you really need help to be pulled out of this kind of low.
I hope you reach out for support, because you are worth this!
everyone has the right to be happy.
ask for help.
swoop yourself up.
breathe
you can do this

Hope Springs said...

Katie, Sweetheart, you are worth too much to leave things like this. Lou Lou is right - ask someone for help. Ideally, see your doctor today. If you haven't the strength for that, then ask anyone - your best friend, a kindly adult, a godparent, your mum to help you find the right support.

I,too, am sure you can do this. I have really appreciated your insights on my blog and can tell you are a lovely, lovely girl. Don't let this disease win! Come on, girl.

If I can be of any help, then mail me at rare.bird.of.paradise(at)googlemail.com

Sometimes it's good just to talk. I won't tell a soul and I won't judge. I will be there for you.

Anonymous said...

I am worried about you! Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Can you tell them what is going on? Or maybe a school counsellor? Please get yourself the help that you need before things get worse! You deserve to be happy and to not be in pain!

lisalisa said...

that was me. i didn't mean to post anonymously ;)

Lost in Obsession said...

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry you feel this way.
This is just my tidd bit of information for you.
I drank pretty heavily for the past year up until the beginning of January. I used the alcohol to mask the pain and sorrow and loneliness I felt. So I quit drinking. Just cold turkey. The first few days were really hard. I felt lonely a lot and bored and ansiy and unsure what to do with my time. So, enter my blog.
I have been feeling a lot better with out drinking. As time goes on you quit thinking about it. There was a time last year that I didn't care if I died or not. SOmetimes I still feel that way.

3 nights ago on my bday I started drinking and when we got home I had some wine, I started drinking more and more and all of a sudden my losty friend was there. I was lonely, realized that I have NO one to talk to and that just made me drink more.

I realized that night that my recovery ABSOLUTELY depended on my sobriety. I am here if you need support or someone to talk to. Please ask for help if you feel like you can't do it alone. You are a strong person, don't let any of it win but you!