awakened

so after a period of recess, i've come back.
and seen that i had two comments! wow someone read my blog :)
that motivates me to keep going.
thank you Arielle for the comment.. it's what i really needed to hear right now.
ooh and thank you anonymous for the website, it's a tough contender against "thinspiration" and i have some new pictures to go in my folder of gorgeous women.

so, update... since i've been gone, i have
- gained weight (ironic, since i was on a "diet")
- stopped dieting and have begun eating whatever i want, with the comfort i can lose weight after exams finish
- finished school forever
- had my valedictory
- gotten insanely drunk dressed at snow white
- played the sims 2 excessively to distract me from my Teta's death AND
- had multiple fights with my ex-principal, boyfriend and my mum.

What a month.

also, i didn't take my anti-depressants for a week, and my mum copped one of my rage black outs. so did my ex-principal. she was a bitch anyway.

i am really bad with pills.
which has got me into a bit of a tiff.
i failed to take my oral contraceptive pill for a few days last week, and my period is one day late.
I'm a self-diagnosed hypochondriac (oh, irony?) and this is causing me a lot of distress.
ive been googling pregnancy, amenorrhea and abortion all day to keep my anxiety at bay, and its not working.
my only consolation is that this has happened to me and a few of my friends before and they and i havent been pregnant. it could be stress, tiredness and whatnot. but argh...
im just fucking scared.
any advice for a 17 year old hypochondriac who thinks she's pregnant on the brink of year 12 exams?
hears to hoping i'll get my period tomorrow and start complaining about it because i hate it so much.