inspired

First off, thanks for the comments i received on my last post, i'm very grateful to have you guys behind me whatever happens. that's one of the reasons i love blogging, it's like a community where we share thoughts and feelings and also encouragement and comfort. thank you.

after i wrote that post last night, i had a good long think about what i really want.
i know i want to be happy, but what will it take?
i thought back to the books i'd been reading recently.
The Dark Heavens by Kyle Chan -a great series about a martial arts taoist God... i love these books, they inspire me so much to think about my life and things I face every day. And they inspire recovery every time I read them.
i also picked up some meditation books i got from the library earlier that day and had a read.
with all this fantasy and 'deeper self' stuff stuck in my head, i've put some NON weight related goals into my head to fulfill one of my 2010 resolutions- Nurture my body, mind and soul.

• Learn to meditate. Very useful skill for relaxation and self-discovery.
• Learn Tai Chi, for a similar reason, and also coz I think it would be awesome :)
• Build up my cardio stamina. I'm reasonably unfit, my body deserves better than to feel sluggish all the time.
• Get muscle - i want a strong body that can handle anything life throws at it!
• Feed my need for knowledge.. read, listen, do, learn.
• Feed my passions -practice guitar more, learn that anime song on piano again, draw, write.
• Nourish my body with healthy foods in moderation.

I really, honestly want to give my body what it deserves, strength, health and stability. My main drawback is that I'm really impatient. This stuff doesn't come overnight.. i need to remember that. Maybe i'll keep coming back to this blog.

I'm a bit apprehensive about the exercise part, because of how obsessed I can get... but for my body to build muscle and strength I need to feed it right, and I think that will help me get healthy, mind-wise. Starvation doesn't lead to health, I know that. 

I think, all this will make me feel good about my body, in the end. I want to be proud of how healthy, beautiful and strong it is. I want to love me for good reasons. I want to enjoy life.

I want this.