whenever i'm lost in the moment of rush it's hard for me to identify my emotions.
i don't pay attention to myself much.
but now that i'm alone and left to think, i've recognised that i'm really unhappy.
i'm still depressed.
i'm taking Lovan at the moment. it's Fluoxetine, like Prozac, and its freaking not working!!
last year i was feeling great on it, but things just went downhill.
i'm sick of feeling so shit about life.
about my stupid body.
about my boyfriend.
ugh.
i just want to feel happy about stuff!
i want to have aims and goals that dont have to do with weight
i want to feel secure with myself around other people
i'm sick of hiding within myself.
i'm miserable.
i don't feel like seeing anybody.
i feel like no one wants to be with me, but i guess i dont blame them.
i'm shit to be around.
but still, it'd be nice to have some friends who like my company.
fuck everybody.
3 comments:
yes- make goals and plans that have nothing to do with weight and body! Start early! Believe me you want to build a REAL LIFE while you are still young, this is something I really wish I had done!
I know it's hard when you are depressed. but trust me, it doesn't get ay easier as you get older.
What do you want to do "when you grow up"? Maybe start focusing on that. Visualise your future, healthy and successful (and ed free). Is there something you can do now to help you get there? Maybe having a goal and working on it would keep your mind off current troubles and give you something to look forward to.
Sorry, I'm not trying to lecture you. This is coming from me right now because I am really feeling bad that I never went to school or had a career and spent all my 20's being sick. i just don't want you to make the same mistake.
Katie, please don't feel like nobody wants to see you. I am missing you terribly... I love being in your company! You are an amazing person!
You are incredible, no matter what you think of your body.
I love spending time with you- you are not shit to be around. You are funny, friendly, kind, generous and sweet. Missing you heaps!!!
Lots of love and hugs
Larissa p.s I just txted you my ph number like you asked, if you still haven't got it then leave another comment and I'll comment it back :-) xoxx
This is motivation to leave the eating disorder because all it brings is sadness, it shows everybody that nothing good comes from and eating disorder.
You may need to up your dose, because once it starts working you'll be able to focus much easier.
Try spending a couple days with yourself doing things YOU enjoy, don't worry about anything to do with weight and just enjoy yourself
xxx
Post a Comment