Reflections on 2009

It's that time of year, where I hop on to myspace to share my life with anyone who gives a fuck. And to tell you the truth, I don't think that includes many at all.

Myspace is shit, but it's my tradition. Facebook is too open, too much family to write an intimate blog post. So now, I will continue this tradition here on this blog, in an unedited version for all except my family and friends to see.

Before I start, here are my previous reflections on Myspace.
2006 (1)

2006

2007

2008
So, here I go.

School - Ah, year 12. Best year ever. Not. This year was intense. We lived in the common room, bitching over the stereo with the other group next to us, and bitching about everyone within our own friendship group. Yes, we girls looove to bitch. It's not surprising though- with all the shit going on it was hard to keep my mouth shut. Highlights of school this year include: My panic attack 5 minutes before my English SAC (because I found out I had to eat that day), the awesome drugged up parties, being left out of stuff a lot, leaning over the toilet bowl and sticking my fingers down my throat, and feeling like a fucking dumb shit. Surprisingly, I came out of the rubble that was year 12 with an ENTER of 90.45. I don't know how I did it, so don't ask. I'm just glad it's over.

Friends - Fuck friends. I was actually going to stop there, but I have more to add on the subject. Yeah, sure, friends are okay. But they aren't there forever. At least not for me. I haven't got best friends anymore, I just don't trust anyone enough. I like the company of certain people, but I find its best not to get too close, because I'll just get hurt, like the billions of times this year. Thanks guys (particularly girls), for ditching me in favour of ecstasy, marijuana and everything that is a lot more fun than me.

Love - Once again, not much to say, except that it's not as simple as I thought it would be. Love is complicated. And when it hurts you, it hurts bad. Another surprise (a lot of surprises in 09) is that the boy is still with me. We already had our first fight of 2010, so I don't think it's going to be for much longer. I don't know what I'll do when he's gone.

Home - Mmm, home. This year was troublesome, what with year 12 going on and all. Mum once again became my worst enemy. And so did my mind. I began to diet and had a semester-long fling with Bulimia, which I'm not proud of and I've pushed that out of my life, for now. Unfortunately, a few anti-depressants and a shrink can't fix everything, and I battled depression and anxiety throughout the year, causing me to be unable to focus on school. It drove my parents insane. All I can say to them is, thanks for putting up with me, no one else would have.

Future - Thanks to my miraculously high ENTER score, I can hopefully achieve my goal of becoming a psychologist. Yeah, shut up, I know it's ironic. But I want to ensure that no child or teenager EVER has to go through what I have for the past two years. I'm extremely pumped to start my six year course at Uni to become a Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychologist, I believe it will be a beginning to an amazing journey of self discovery and knowledge of all things mental.

Not my best piece of writing, but I had 4 hours of sleep last night and I'm not feeling my best. Here's to hoping that 2010 will be at least a better year than 2009.

Love to all.