i chose the lecture.
i didn't regret it.
today i chose to go to the gym instead of study.
i didn't regret it.
i did an hour step class which almost killed me. and certainly burnt the minimal calories i ate today.
*sigh* counterproductive.
my psych is NEVER going to let me live this down.
she's going to be so dissapointed.
the boy once told me i had to choose between him and my eating disorder.
i told him it wasn't that simple.
is it really possible to choose both?
my ed is like a rival guy for him.
ED VS. MY BOY.
they both compete.
but to me, it's not like that. to me, i can have both.
the boy just had to deal, because its a part of me.
i can't be happy if i hate my body.
i told him on the phone that i have back fat.
he sounded angry.
but my back fat is disgusting.
1 comment:
ugh, I feel ya! I have back fat too and it drives me crazy!
I wanted to say on your last post that I am glad you don't self-harm anymore. I used to do that too but eeventually I grew out of it, or it just "stopped working".
I hope your guy can understand that it's not really fair to ask you to choose between him and the ED. In a perfect worls your love for another person would be enough for you to get better for them, but in reality its not that easy. ED's are mental illnesses and you just cant "turn them off" because someone wants you too.
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